Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
