just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
