I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
whose parrot is this?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
