I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
