When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
We smell like vodka and hangover
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