I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
