Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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