Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
