he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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