don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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