She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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