So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
