So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
