youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
