so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
