Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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