yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
