theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
