do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize