And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
