Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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