just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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