I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
