omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
