Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
