Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
