How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
