is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
