sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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