I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
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did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
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You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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