she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
