I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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