Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
