But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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