The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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