Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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