Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize