capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
