We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
