Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
