Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
