I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
