I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
They took my balls.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
