3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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