Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
