She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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