this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
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Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
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But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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