I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize