living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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