your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize