Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
