i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
