my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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