I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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