last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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