i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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