i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
