6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
