It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
