I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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