Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
