That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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