garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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