I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize