There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
